The Lady Of The Rings
by Enjie Yekcam
Summary: A parody of The Lord Of The Rings. It's the same basic concept except the names have changed and the places have changed. It's pretty good. I've made everything fit. It even tells you at the end of the first chapter who's who. Chapter 2 up need 10 reviews
1. ByeBye Uncle Blue Knight!

First parody, don't murder, threaten, report, or flame please! :D

**The Lady Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring**

**Chapter One: Bye-Bye Uncle Blue-Knight, Hello Adventure!**

_Lady Berii: The world is changed. I feel it in the water. I feel it in the Earth. I smell it in the air. Much that once was, is lost; for none now live who remember it._

_It began with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Aliens. Immortal, wisest, and fairest of all beings. Seven, to the Short-Lords, great miners and craftsmen of the Mothership halls. And nine.... Nine rings were gifted to the race of Men, who, above all else, desire power._

_Within these rings was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them, deceived, for another ring was made. In the land of Humandooria, in the fires of Mount Cry, the Dark Lord Masaya forged, in secret, a Master Ring, to control all others. And into this ring he poured his dorkiness, his stupidity, his stupid charm, and his will to dominate all life. One Ring to rule them all. One by one, the Free Lands of Southern-Earth fell to the power of the Ring. But there were some, who resisted._

_A last alliance of Aliens and Men marched against the armies of Humandooria, and on the slopes of Mount Cry, they fought for the freedom of Southern-Earth._

_Victory was almost won, but the power of the Ring, could not be undone._

_It was in this moment when all hope faded, that Anakuzu, son of the king, took up his father's sword. And won victory for all._

_Masaya, the enemy of the free peoples of Southern-Earth, was defeated. The Ring passed to Anakuzu, who had this one chance to destroy evil forever. But the hears of Men, are easily corrupted. And the ring of Power, has a will of its own. It betrayed Anakuzu, to his death. And some things, that should not have been forgotten, were lost. _

_History became legend._

_Legend became myth._

_And for two and a half thousand years, the Ring passed out of all knowledge... until, when chance came, it enslaved a new bearer. The Ring came to the creature Yoshida, who took it deep into the tunnels of the Rainy Mountains. And there, it made him a slave._

_The Ring brought Yoshida unnatural long life. For 500 years it poisoned her mind. And in the gloom of Yoshida's cave, it waited._

_Darkness crept back into the forests of the world. Rumor grew of a shadow in the East, whispers of a nameless fear. And the Ring of Power had its chance. It's time had come. It abandoned Yoshida. But something happened the Ring did not intend. It was picked up by the most unlikely of creatures: A MewIt. Blue Knight of Mewton. For the time will soon come when MewIts will shape the fortunes of all....._

Ichigo sat down, leaning on a tree, reading one of her favorite books, **_Humandoorian Tales Of Terror. _**Humandooria was a place where no one wanted to go. It was the most evil place in the world. No MewIt would ever want to go there. No one ever wanted to go there.

The truth was: Ichigo couldn't wait. Her wizard-friend Ryou The Blonde was coming for Ichigo's Uncle Blue-Knight's one-hundred-and-eleventh birthday! How he had lived that long, no one knew. Everyone said that it was that adventure he took with those humans and Ryou The Blonde. He had to battle the dragon known as Deep Blue and vanquish him. But MewIts were known for being quiet and never doing anything unexpected. They said he took in all that air and it did him no good whatsoever.

Now Ichigo was getting frustrated. Ryou was very late! She swiveled her cat ears to try to detect him from afar. She heard a faint singing:

"The road goes ever on and on! Down from the door where it began! Though the road is long and hard, I must follow if I can!"

That was Ryou, he was here! Ichigo sprang up from the ground like the cat she was and ran down the massively steep hill to find him. She found him on a horse. She crossed her arms as the golden horse came to a stop. It looked like his hair.

"You're late." She said smugly. Ryou threw a glare at her.

"A wizard...." He started very testily. "Is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to!"

Ichigo laughed. She threw herself onto Ryou and hugged him, saying a smuggled, "It's great to see you, Ryou!" Ryou laughed too.

"I wouldn't miss your Uncle's birthday." He said to the cat. Ichigo sat upright in the passenger seat to the carriage that Ryou was handling. He nudged the reins and the horses took off again.

"So," He asked. "How is the old rascal? I hear it's going to be a party of special magnificence!"

"Ha, you know Blue Knight; he's got the whole place in an uproar!" Ichigo gossiped with her old friend. Ryou snorted.

"Well, that should please him."

"Half of Mewton's been invited, and the other half is coming anyway."

Ichigo gradually more serious as Ryou and herself rode along the road.

"To tell you the truth," She said, concern in her voice. "Blue Knight's been a bit odd lately. I mean, more than usual. He's taken to locking himself into his study, spending hours pouring over old maps when he thinks my back is turned."

Ryou gave Ichigo an unexpected look. But she wasn't watching him, her cat eyes were fixed on something else.

"He's up to something," She mumbled. Ryou continued to look at her in dismay. Yes, Ryou knew Blue Knight was up to something, but Ichigo wasn't supposed to know! Ichigo caught him looking and searched his eyes for a shred of hope. Ryou turned his face the other way before she could deduce something. Ichigo chuckled.

"Alright then," She said, crossing her arms. "Keep your secrets!"

"What?" Ryou asked innocently.

"I _know _you have something to do with it!" Ichigo spouted off again.

"Good gracious me," Ryou muttered under his breath.

"Before YOU came along, we Momomiyas were very well thought of." Ichigo spat playfully.

"Indeed?" Ryou asked.

"We never did anything out of the ordinary or did anything unexpected."

"If you're referring to the incident with the dragon, Smoke, I was barely involved." Ryou pleaded. "I just gave your uncle a little.... nudge out the door."

"Yeah, but whatever you did, you've officially been named a 'Disturber Of The Peace'." Ichigo told. Ryou looked like he might DIE of shock.

"Oh, really?" He murmured, looking at a MewIt passing by. She smiled kindly at him. That just confused him even more.

The kids of Mewton noticed the Ryou was there now.

"Ryou!" They shouted. "Fireworks, Ryou! Fireworks!"

They kept saying it over and over again but Ryou kept the carriage moving. Ichigo was going to tell him to stop, but before she could Ryou muttered something incoherently under his breath and the back end blew up in fireworks. The kids went wild. Ichigo's cat senses went wild and she jumped up laughing.

Ichigo stayed standing and jumped off on a hill.

"Ryou," She said. "I'm glad you're back."

"So am I, silly girl!" Ryou replied. "So am I."

Ichigo ran off in her own direction while Ryou had his own matters to attend to with Blue Knight.

Ryou got off the carriage and went through the gate, noticing it said "No Admittance Except On Party Business". Ryou gently rapped on the door.

"No thank you!" Came a raspy old voice. "We don't want anymore visitor, well-wishers, or distant relatives!"

"And what about very-old-friends?" Ryou asked the door. It opened wide instantly when it heard the voice. The man in blue robes stared out.

"Ryou?" He asked.

"Blue Knight." Ryou reassured. They embraced hardily. "One-hundred and eleven years-old! How did you ever manage that?"  
  
Ryou pulled Blue Knight away from himself to get a good look at him.

"You haven't changed a bit!"

Blue Knight laughed and welcomed Ryou into his house.

"Come in, come in!" He said happily. "What can I get you? Tea, or maybe something a little bit stronger? I've got a few bottles of the Old Tokyo left. 1296. Very good year. Almost as old as I am!" Blue Knight ran into the kitchen to see what could be done about food and drink.

"Just tea, thank you." Ryou told Blue Knight from the living room. Blue Knight was rambling amongst himself.

"I was expecting you sometime last week. Not that it matters though. You come and go as you please. Always have and always will." He ranted. "You've caught me a bit unprepared. We've only got cold chicken and a bit of a pickle.... There's some cheese here. No, that won't do."

Meanwhile, Ryou was studying some maps that were lain out by Blue Knight. There was one from the battle with Smoke that Ryou remembered well.

"Oh, no! We're all right! I've just found some sponge cake! I could make you some eggs if you like." Came Blue Knight's voice as he walked into the living room.

"Just, tea, thank you." Ryou said.

"Oh, alright." Blue Knight stammered. There was a pounding at the door. "SHHHH!" Blue Knight called. He leaned up against the wall. "It's the Chinese Momomiyas! They've never forgiven me for living this long!"

The banging finally stopped.

"Oh, I've got to get away from these confounded relatives, hanging on the bell all day, not giving me a moments peace! I wanna see the mountains again, Ryou. Mountains! Then I can find somewhere quiet to finish my book. Oh! Tea!" Blue Knight forced. He waddled to the fireplace to get the kettle that was whistling loudly by then.

"So you mean to go through with your plan?" Ryou asked suspiciously.

"Yes, yes. It's all in hand." Blue Knight answered. "All the arrangements are made."

"Ichigo suspects something, you know." Ryou complained.

"Of course she suspects something! She's a Momomiya! Not some silly Aoyama or Asaka!" Blue Knight replied defensively.

"You.... you will tell her.... won't you?" Ryou asked slowly.

"Yes, yes!"

"She's very fond of you."

"........ I know........" Blue Knight slowly replied. "She'd probably come with me if I asked her to. But I think in her heart, Ichigo's still in love with Mewton. The trees, the crops. The gullies. I am very old, Ryou," Blue Knight said, turning to face Ryou. "I know I don't look it but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart."

Ryou was listening to Blue Knight, but was also watching the hand movements he made in his pocket, like he was holding onto something.

"I feel.... thin." Blue Knight continued as he sat down. "Sort of stretched. Like.... Mew attacks stretched over too many Chiremal Animals. I need a holiday. A VERY LONG holiday. And I don't expect I shall return. In fact—I mean not to."

THE END.

This is just the beginning, it'll get better. And while I'm thinking of it, here's who will play who:

**Ichigo—Frodo**

**Minto—Merry**

**Purin—Pippin**

**Rettasu—Sam**

**Ryou— Gandalf**

**Zakuro—Aragorn**

**Kish—Legolas**

**Taruto—Gimli**

**Pai—Arwen**

**Keiichiro—Boromir**

**Masaya—Sauron**

**Berii—Lady of Lothloria**

**Shintaro—Eomer**

**Sakura—Eowyn**

**Blue Knight—Bilbo**

**Deep Blue—Saruman**

**Yoshida—Gollum**

**Reiko—Smeagol**

Can I get like 5 reviews before I continue?


	2. The Road Goes Ever On and On

CHAPTER TWO: The Road Goes Ever On And On...

"Old Toby..." Blue Knight told Ryou as they sat on the hill watching the party on the fields below. "The finest weed in the Northfarthing."

Blue Knight took a puff form his pipe and slowly blew smoke out so it formed the shape of a circle. Ryou chuckled as he put his pipe up to his mouth and blew out a boat going through the circle.

"Ryou, my old friend... This will be a night to remember." Blue Knight remarked. Then they both went down to the party.

Fireworks billowed out the onto the night sky. Everyone was singing and dancing and having a wonderful time. Two people were carrying a humongous cake with 111 candles on it. Ichigo was having the best time dancing! She stopped for a second to search for her friend Rettasu. She found her sitting at a table all by herself. Ichigo walked over to her.

"Go on Rettasu," Ichigo pressured. "Ask Johan for a dance!"

Johan was the person Rettasu had been crushing on since forever. Rettasu's eyes grew wide with fear and she shook her head violently and whimpered.

"I think I'll just get another glass of water..." She said, getting up. Ichigo laughed and pushed Rettasu in the other direction saying, "Oh, no you don't!" Rettasu was caught by Johan and they immediately started dancing, whilst Ichigo was laughing more.

"Whoa!" Ryou said as a reaction to what he just did. He set off another batch of fireworks. This one covered the whole place.

"So there I was..." Blue Knight stated to the four children listening to his story. "At the mercy of three monstrous trolls. And they were all arguing amongst themselves about how they were going to cook us! Whether it be turned on a spit, or sit on us one by one, and squash us into jelly..." He stopped for effect as the children gasped. "Well they spent so much time arguing about the ways to cook us that the sun's first light crept over the top of the trees... and POOF! And turned them all to stone, how do you like that, huh?"

Ryou was picking out more fireworks and walked away from his trailer full of them. Bad move for him.

Minto looked out from behind the trailer and hit the curtain to the side of her. Her hyper little friend Purin popped out.

"Quickly!" Minto whispered and she locked her fingers together. Purin used that as a spring board and fell into the heap of fireworks. "Get the big one!"

Purin searched through the fireworks and found a dragon-shaped one that was huge!

"Yeah!" She said. She jumped out and made a run for it. Minto took a bite out of an apple to look like nothing was wrong.

"Mrs. Aoyama, good to see you. Welcome, welcome! Are all these children yours?" Blue Knight asked the woman as about 13 kids walked by. The woman nodded. "My... you have been productive!" The woman walked away as Blue Knight's big ears picked something up he did not want to hear. He turned around looking scared, right into Ichigo's chest.

"Oh, sorry. But quickly! Chinese Momomiyas!" He said. Ichigo nodded and they hid behind a curtain, right next to where the Momomiyas were standing. Blue Knight sighed out of relief. "Thank you, little lady." He told Ichigo. "You're a good girl, Ichigo. And I'm... very selfish you know. Very very selfish. I don't know why I took you in after your mother and father died, but it wasn't out of charity. I think it was because of all my numerous relations, _you _were the one that showed the most spirit."

"Uncle, have you been in the Asaka's Home Brew?" Ichigo asked him, thinking he was drunk.

"No." He answered quickly. "Well, yes but that's beside the point. The point is, Ichigo, well... you'll be alright." And with that Blue Knight walked away.

Purin lighted a match inside one of the tents and lighted the thingy on the dragon.

"Done!" She squealed happily.

"You're supposed to stick it in the ground!" Minto complained, pushing it towards Purin. She pushed it right back. They were pushing it back and forth as the fuse was getting shorter.

"It is in the ground!"

"I mean outside!"

"This was YOUR idea!"

It was too late. The thing exploded. Fire went everywhere. Everyone thought that it was a great show and applauded it happily.

"That went well." Purin said.

"Yeah, let's get another one!" Minto suggested. A hand came down on them and pinched their ears. They were twisted so they were looking up. Ryou had a hold of them!

"Well, Minto Aizawa, and Purin Fong. I might've known..." He murmured. He made them wash dishes and serve food as punishment for doing what they did.

"Speech Blue Knight, Speech!" Everyone was shouting. Blue Knight made his way up to the stage and tilted the microphone to his height. Then, he spoke.

"My dear Momomiyas and Fujiwaras..." He started. Everyone who was in those families gave a "Whoop!"

"Aizawas and Fongs... (WHOOP!) Asakas, (WHOOP) Aoyamas (BOO!) Kisshus (WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP) (I'm running out of last names) Paises... (WHOOP!) Deep Blues, (WHOOP!) and Tarutoes!"

"Taru-feet!" Some person yelled to correct him in a humorous way. Everyone laughed except Blue Knight, who waved his hand in the air in frustration.

"Today is my one hundred and eleventh birthday!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLUE KNIGHT!"

"But alas, eleventy-years is far too short a time to live among such admiral MewIts. I know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as much as you deserve."

The whole place was silent like they had no clue what he just said. Ryou and Ichigo on the other hand knew exactly what he meant and stifled laughs. So Blue Knight went on. He became nervous and reached behind his back and pulled something out and kept it hidden.

"I... I have things I need to do..." He said. "I've put this off for far too long."

Ichigo's face grew upset as she watched her uncle talk nervously like something was about to happen. Her face gradually got more and more worried.

"I regret to announce that this is the end!" Blue Knight continued. Ryou's face grew worried also. He KNEW what his friend was going to do. "I am going now... Good bye."

Blue Knight put his ring on and disappeared instantaneously. Ichigo's face dropped as the rest of the place seemed to gasp. Ryou's eyes grew. He knew that Blue Knight had planned to leave secretly, but he didn't know he was going to pull a stunt like that!

"Uncle?" Ichigo yelled. "BLUE KNIGHT!"

Blue Knight ran to his house and slammed the door. He took off the ring and chuckled. He had out smarted people again.

"I supposed you think that was terribly clever." Ryou said from behind the shadows.

"Oh, did you see their faces? Priceless!" Blue Knight shouted happily.

"There are many great Rings in this world, and none of them should be taken lightly." Ryou countered.

"It was just a bit of fun! Oh, you're probably right, as usual. Is everything set?" Blue Knight asked.

"Yes,"

"And you will keep an eye on Ichigo, won't you?"

"Two eyes, as often as I can spare them."

"Great. I've left everything to her."

"And what about that ring of yours?"

"Yes, yes. It's in an envelope on the mantle." Blue Knight stopped moving. "No, no wait, it's here, here in my pocket…." Blue Knight opened up his pocket and pulled his beloved ring out. "Well, now that I think about it, why shouldn't I keep it? It's mine, I found it, it came to me! It's mine! My own…. My… Precious!"

"Precious? It's been called that before, but not by you." Ryou said.

"What do you care? It's nothing of your business!"

"I think you've had that ring long enough Blue Knight…."

"YOU WANT IT FOR YOUSELF!"

Ryou stepped forward and glared at Blue Knight.

"BLUE KNIGHT! DO _NOT _TAKE ME AT SOME MAKER OF CHEAP TRICKS! I'M _NOT _TRYING TO ROB YOU!" He shouted. Blue Knight looked terrified. Ryou calmed down a bit. "I'm trying to help you."

Blue Knight reluctantly nodded. "Yes," He said. "Yes you're right."

"Let the ring go."

"I will."

Ryou smiled at his old friend. Blue Knight picked up his walking stick and walked to the door.

"Blue Knight," Ryou said. "The ring is still in your hand."

"Oh!" Blue Knight stared long and hard at his hand, holding the ring. Slowly he dropped it onto the ground.

_KLUNK_

"Well, now off I go." Blue Knight waved good-bye to his friend. As he walked down the path to get out of Mewton, he was humming a simple tune:

"_The road goes ever on and on, down from the door where it began…."_

THE END!

I made a mistake in the last chapter! I can't make Sakura Eowyn! Just because Zakuro is Aragorn! You all know Eowyn is supposed to like Aragorn, so I don't wanna make Ichigo's regular mom in the manga a lez! So Shintaro will be Eowyn and Sakura shall be Eomer. There, now that that's settled, REVIEW PLEASE!


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